June 5, 2015- Healthy
Artist, Happy Artist.
A healthy artist is a
happy artist.
And being healthy is not just a physical thing. It has so much to do with
your mental state of mind. Keeping yourself at bay.
A
little transparency coming at you: I used to be an extremely angry person. Like
down to the core, “a true firecracker, sharp tongued, always on the edge” kind
of woman. I would use my tongue and say WHATEVER I wanted when I wanted it. Of course, my bubbly personality was the perfect counter to this, as
I used to call it, alter ego. But it took me mentally strengthening myself to
figure out that all of that built up animosity was because... there were things
that I was highly upset about within myself that I didn't have control over. I
didn’t know how to deal with them or let them go: events of the past, broken
hearts, lost friendships, lack of family support. The big one: people would say and talk to me ANY kind of way and I never stood up and defended myself. I didn't know how to speak up for me. I can go on and on. It even
transferred over into my acting.
I
remember going to a workshop and the presenter noticed my love for my craft
right away. She saw my skill set and vivaciousness, but she knew I had deep
secret. Something I tried to keep underwraps but gradually was boiling up.
Thinking about it, she actually hit the nail on the head when she said that
this was easy for me. Being angry or high strung on emotion was a natural for
me. Not spiteful or hateful, but just immensely frustrated. She could
point out that in me. How? Later, she revealed that was a symptom that she
used to possess as well, and earlier in her acting career she was typecasted into certain roles. I never want to get to that point. Nevertheless, I became frustrated with her. She knew I had much
talent and was blind, at times, by anger. And she was right: my temper used to
give me headaches and depression. Terrible anxiety attacks. Exhaustion. I lost people who
were close to me because of it. To others, like directors or other actors, they thought
it was brilliant! “Look at the power and
performance!!” Surprisingly, I was good at mellowing out in public and at
work but MAN, to the people who knew me—it was another story.
The
day Brittney decided to take control of her anger is the day my "alter ego" died.
I sought out help for myself. I didn't want to be that "angry black
woman" in real life. (Laughs)
Seriously I only want to portray her as a “character” and then put that chick
away . It's crazy how now when I get upset... I feel so out of my body. It is so foreign for me to escalate and go off the handle like that anymore.
And
now as an adult I can smile to myself. Well
about a couple of things:
1)
I have learned to balance myself and use my experiences and personal
traits in my characters as a choice and NOT as a “go-to”
2)
The unhealthy stage of rage is not a part of me anymore.
I
share this to help you know and understand that you must take care of
yourself. No one else will give you the care you need like you will for
yourself. Keep your mind and body in shape.
Brittney
This
is easy: have body awareness. Nonverbal cues are real, people. And hey, not
only check yourself on them, but be cognizant of those around you as well.
Read body language and gestures. Use your sense of awareness to gauge a
situation prior to engaging. This is a very simple principle for anyone to
follow. As artists, we are asked to project what we see through the medium in
which we choose i.e. film, photography, music,
dancing, etc.
