December 10, 2014- Forgive.
Forgiveness is not the same as forget. Forgetting makes you stupid, forgiving makes you wise. Let me share this scripture with you: 2 Corinthians 5:17, "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." It is crazy how I can learn and find in my heart to forgive those who have hurt me, tarnished me, but Brittney cannot find it in herself to forgive herself for the past. I know that "karma" is not a Christian belief or custom but I do believe in "you will reap what you sow". Sometimes we abuse the good we have because we don't realize its value. Or sometimes you think that you are more valuable than them anyways, so anything else is not better than you. Yes, that was my mindset a few years back.
I was with someone who loved me to my core and I didn't appreciate it. Not at all and even when I thought I would stop my ways and appreciate him…I didn't. I didn't because deep down I was angry and upset with myself and in my mind I thought " how in the world could someone love someone "like" me so much after all the things I have done"? Nuts, right? So I practically drilled into myself that I was not going to open up or open up my heart because I didn't think I deserved love. Things from my childhood still haunted me…and to be honest, it still does some days. Some mornings when I try rolling out of bed… I find it difficult. Ok, go ahead and shake your head but it was the truth. And another sad fact is I would personally sabotage my good. I would find a way to make it all go away even though…deep down I wanted nothing but to feel the comfort.
Now as I type I am sitting here still learning a lesson about forgiveness. Being alone, at this point in my life, is a choice. I PURPOSEFULLY am single. And yes it is a challenge EVERY SINGLE day. Yes it is hard, but what was harder was being with someone and not being able to give 100% of me. You feel me?
Okay, okay yes that person hurt me…hurt me more than I could have fathomed but I was only reaping what I sowed. I never showed them enough appreciation, I never looked at what was right in front of me. Right in front of me…like a mirror. That person was not only someone dear to me…it was myself. I was not only hurting someone else, I was killing MY spirit. I had to learn to forgive myself for my sins. Let the past be the past. I don't know who this message is for today but please listen and realize that God has died for ALL of your sins. ALL OF THEM! As long as you have accepted him as your Lord and Savior… we are children of Christ and we are made anew. Let it go. Forgive and move on…