October 21, 2014- Finding Yourself Through Your Craft pt. 2
Is it odd that I feel more comfortable performing in front of strangers than in front of people I actually know? Well I know that fact holds true to other artists as well, but strangely enough I have trust issues “in real life” but not on stage. I completely trust my partner and myself solely on stage like my life depended on it. But once the curtain is drawn, I am timid and inquisitive of almost every little thing. Crazy huh? Say I am dating the actor playing my opposite, I would be so into him and the role that I won’t even begin to think of my own insecurities but once cut is CALLED--- boom!
What is that about? Perhaps one can say that you can leave it all on set or on stage, but really what is it…BEFORE I MOVE ON, I would like for everyone to notice something. A woman just ACTUALLY admitted to having trust issues…I know, I know! Go ahead give me a pat on the back. (smiles) But I am seriously, I have finally admitted something that I have spent 3 failed relationships, two failed friendships, and a plethora of sleepless nights denying…OUT LOUD. I HAVE TRUST ISSUES!! Ha, ha! And I am working on it! Super excited about that discovery….alrighty back to the blog…
But what it is all about is learning yourself THROUGH your craft. I have finally taken on an acting coach AFTER three years out of professional training. And I have to say, I was nervous at first. Granted there is nothing PRIVATE about being an actor but moreso, trust someone with my tools. To me, it is like trusting someone with my heart. I have given it to many and only a few have deserved it. So getting older has shown me that not everyone has my best interest at heart…and startlingly it is getting harder and harder to find those who truly care about me…and by me I mean my tools: spirit, mind, body, and voice.
But hey! Maybe I should start looking at life as though it was a play: “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players”--- As You Like It, ACT II, Scene VII.